"Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me."

- Kermit the Frog

All day Kermit has been with me, singing this song in my head. Earlier I was googling villas in Tuscany. What's in Tuscany? I have no idea. I probably won't even go. And therin lies the problem. I've always been told to dream big. Well, dreams only get you so far.

Earlier I was chatting with my Mom and I said something about not wanting to wake up in North Carolina one day and say "So, this is it." That scares me to death. This can't be all there is. I left Florida with the same attitude and look where I am now. I've come a long way, but it isn't enough. It's time to keep going. Right now that isn't a possibility because I've just started my Freshman year of College and I'm not about to withdraw. I want to at least get my Associate's under my belt and then go from there.

I'm just so tired of the same routine, though. I want to go some place where I don't have to make plans. Where I can take a different road every morning or even take the same road, but see something new every day. Somewhere along the way I've lost sight of who Jennifer really is. I know I haven't found me in Durham... but I'm getting there, little by little. I've been giving serious thought to joining the Peace Corps. Two years of my life in a foreign country with a bunch of total strangers. I can almost guarantee that I'll find myself there or at least learn more about me than I'll probably ever want to know. Of course that isn't my only reason for wanting to go. I've always been a "fixer" and I want to contribute in any way I can and make some sort of an impact on at least one person. I want to find the Jennifer that's worth remembering....

All I know is I could be much happier and I'm going to keep wandering around until I find the right answers. They might be in Tuscany, it might be in Australia, it might even be in my own backyard... but I can't stop searching. One day, I'll find what's on the other side of the rainbow.... At least I hope so.